I don't know if I'm being ungrateful or else for writing this. But, I just need to say it. Right here, right now. It's been 21 years since I was born. And, trust me, I really have a lot to thank for. My understanding parents, perfect brother, lovely best friends and a lot more.
Sometimes, I could feel happiness grows in me. Like, it's a miracle to be happy. Every single time I feel happy, I'm so afraid that this might be my last one. And then, it ends with those thoughts. I think a lot you know. Especially when it comes to people around me, my source of happiness. No matter how many people try to be good to me, I push them all away. Enough with one reason; I don't know which one among them will stay. I'm afraid of them leaving me. I'm afraid of them hurting me. Just like the rest.
Something is missing and I don't know why. I'm living but death is all what I think of. I'm smiling but I know I can't feel anything on the inside. I'm laughing but I'm afraid this moment is gonna end. I know I have to keep going but I also know that one day I have to stop pretending like everything is fine and perfect and okay cause it's not.
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