Friday, December 20, 2013

Miracles in December

H, so uh this is my latest post after a very long break or that was what I thought anyway. This post is created for me to share the latest album of EXO, Miracles in December. I have here with me the detail for both versions of MID's albums.




EXO – 겨울 스페셜 앨범 ’12월의 기적 (Miracles in December)’
EXO – 十二月的奇迹 (Miracles In December) 
Release Date: 2013.12.09 
Genre: Ballad, Dance Pop


Korean Ver.
1 – 01. 12월의 기적 (Miracles In December)
1 – 02. Christmas Day
1 – 03. The Star
1 – 04. My Turn To Cry
1 – 05. 첫 눈
1 – 06. 12월의 기적 (Classical Orchestra ver.)

Chinese Ver.
2 – 01. 十二月的奇迹 (Miracles In December)
2 – 02. Christmas Day (圣诞节)
2 – 03. The Star (星)
2 – 04. My Turn To Cry (爱离开)
2 – 05. 初雪 (The First Snow)
2 – 06. 十二月的奇迹 (Classical Orchestra ver.)

I bought both versions of MID and am still waiting for the albums to arrive in front of my door step /omg I am just so excited for this/ but wow this is bad cause I also have downloaded the full albums and listened to all songs from both both albums. The comeback concept is for Christmas and being warm guys which suits them a whole lot than I expected since they were known for being tough guys and wolves and aliens so to be finally recognized as humans, it is still kind of weird to me. The music videos were released on 5th December 2013 and crap I got teary because of Tao. That kid has talents. And for their comeback, the three main vocals for MID was Chen, D.O and Baekhyun and they did such perfect job for that. Everyone else who doesn't even like EXO said that it was nice to know that after all they were wrong, that EXO actually could sing. And I really want to scream to their face "I TOLD YA" but that would be rude I have to keep my manners. And then Luhan and Lay joined the other three because Luhan, Chen and Baekhyun are the main vocals for MID in Chinese version. And Lay is included in the team to play the white piano he looked like an angel I couldn't control my feelings when I saw him playing the piano it suits him well he is such a music genius. And since three days ago, finally EXO came on stage as twelve and won the fourth win of this week for Miracles in December. The fist five of Chen, D.O, Baekhyun, Luhan and Lay sang MID and twelve of them sang Christmas Day which is the second track of this album and their outfits for this song were collar t-shirts, fedoras, jeans and suspenders. As a very passionate EXO's fans you don't make them wear suspenders on stage holy crap I almost had a heart attack when I saw them performing their first stage as twelve for this comeback and what was worst was that no one gave me warnings about this I could have died but well the view was quite nice and their choreography crap again cause I don't know suspenders could be so sexy.


P/S: Anyway, from this albums my most favorite song is The First Snow Korean version and Christmas Day Chinese version and I like both versions of Miracles in December.

Kris's Birthday Message

This is a late letter,
But the love and the gratitude inside it knows only to grow and never to shrink.
To us, this year has not been a normal one,
Fan Qin have accompanied me through the difficult and dark times,
You have also accompanied me through all the bits and pieces of this year, witnessing my growth, as well as yours,
You were by my side as I received glory and heights that I never could have imagined reaching.
Despite the road ahead of us still being very long, I would still like to say that I really am content!
I feel calm, with each of you staying by my side all along,
I feel strength, unlimited possibilities and hope.
Dear each of you, thank you!!!
I believe that not only last year but this year, and every year from here on out, this very day will remain in my memories for a lifetime!
Everything that you have done for me, the endless support and belief gives me motivation to continue on.
To be honest, life does not necessarily have to go on smoothly, because only a life like this will allow a person to grow and become stronger.
And then, I will continue to use my limited time and my limited abilities,
To bring you all happiness and bliss with everything that I have.
Thank you.
Source: exom’s official site
Translated by: xuan@exom-trans
I bet this picture was taken while they were at the beach recording for EXO's Showtime Episode 5. It's winter cold nowadays in South Korea and I really hope he would take a great care of himself and stay warm.

Wednesday, November 27, 2013

Untitle #1

Funny how, at times, we let some people enter our ribcage and grow flowers up to our collarbones and when they leave, we give them flowers with thorns picked out of its branches.

n.m

Monday, November 25, 2013

I'm taking a break.

Ma said, "One day, someone is going to come and affect your life in the most possibly enormous way that it feels like there's a hole inside your chest when you're saying goodbye to them. It's going to affect you in such a good way that it becomes a bad point in your life. From there, is what matters the most; the way you deal with the situation."

I think that is what's happening to me. That when EXO came two years ago, I've been equipped with so many happiness that I feel like I'm flying high to the sky. I am a bad person and I never feel like I deserve to be happy. That when I'm happy, a part of my life is going to crumble down six feet underground and hurts me.

I am a bad person and being with EXO even if we are only connected through the virtual world is more than enough for me. I, myself, don't suit being in the sky as high as the twelve boys. It's time for me to come down to Earth and reevaluate my life and be a better person. Jongin once said, "If you don't study, don't even think of me." And, I'm going to take his words with depth.

Thank you for all the memories. I'm taking a break for a while. I see you when I see you.

Friday, October 18, 2013

Poem #19 : Luhan

His eyes were like those angels
With ocean blue colors
They were calming to the lost hearts like mine

His hair was all creped
Into a filmy golden aureole round his face
Shining like a moon to the sun

His face was clean as it was made by porcelain
Beautifully structured by the hands of the experts
Carefully and with care

His lips were curved into a the color of a rose
Reddish and full
Seducing those soul whose hunger is for love


n.m

Thursday, October 17, 2013

A Letter to Wu Yi Fan


Hey, Kris or should I call you by your real name now I don't know, this is my first time writing to you on my blog and not in my journal and I am not used to this and I can feel my hands shaking and my heart beating so fast because I feel like I am writing this to you and do you know what is the funniest thing is I AM WRITING THIS TO YOU. It feels weird. It really does.

You might not know me, but I know about you like hell a lot. You bet. Oh dear god I am sorry I am writing to you again and I am sorry that I am such a bubbly person and a wreck the next. That is just who I am. I can't even control myself anymore.

It is sad.
It is.

I just want you to know that you mean a lot to me like literally the whole space between the sky and the Earth and the space between the stars on the universe. I guess it is countless but that is the point of loving right, countless.

Some nights like tonight, I feel the need to write about you. Usually, I write about you in my journal but I guess invisible lightning stroke me when I got out this evening. It was raining really hard and now I am writing to you on my freaking blog at 4.42 in the morning. I can see myself going crazy do you know how crazy that sounds?

Ugh, I need to get to my letter to you actually. Where were we?

Oh yeah, I just saw a photo of you again ha how strange it is to say this because I am always seeing your photos, on my phone, on my laptop screen, I have my walls wallpapered with your face and I talk to you in the morning when I wake up and before I go to bed so seeing your photo is literally my daily routine and just a moment ago, I saw your photo, playing basketball and you're looking happy and you're smiling and I miss you again.

We have never met like you know..... up close but I have met you, yeah literally actually when I went to MTV World Stage. 

Was that a meeting actually?
No, of course not.
I am sorry again, I get delusional at times. 

But yeah, I saw you and I missed you that night when I got home and I miss you again tonight after seeing your photo. I swear to God, I can see my other self erking at me saying how ridiculous it is for me to miss someone who practically does not even know my existence and I want to yell at her that you know about my existence because I am your fan and God and all the planets in this universe and EXO know that fans existed.

I miss you so much I feel like my heart is exploding like when Nagasaki got bombed and everyone was scared because of the fire and the radiation and people dying. And I am scared. I am because I know how this letter will never reach you and you wouldn't even read it and it hurts me a lot.

I wonder myself to sleep how can an angel like you with hidden wings hurt me? And I talk to your posters again because it feels nice to talk to you even though we all know how stupid it is to talk to posters. I told you one night, that I like you because you like reading books and because you are tall. I like boys who read books and are tall. I think books are the only thing that make me talk to a person and music. It engages me with the outside world. I figure if you know about books and since you are someone who is in music industry you must like music too, maybe I can talk to you someday and we could be friends or maybe I can stay as just a fan. But, I want to be that fan who talk to his idol and get recognized for having the same interest as you are but God knows how many people love books and music as I am and you are. So, I guess, I will never get recognized ever and that hurts me again.

Thinking back, you have brought me pain too. But, you saved me. That is more important. I wish I can tell you in what way you have saved me but that would be another long story. And I have no time.

Sometimes, it gets me thinking, if you are not someone famous, would there be a chance for you and I to meet and become friends? If you stay as a normal student, would there be a chance for you to come to my country and be placed in my school as an exchange students and I would bump into you with Wuthering Heights and stumble in front of you and you would pick it up and ask me if I read this book and I will say of course I am reading it, it fell from my hands for God's sake and I will disperse into hundreds of students running in the hallway and you will never see me again and I will ask myself if there is a stupider person than you for asking me if I am reading a book that falls from my hands.

All I need is a chance but a chance is all I lose.

Have you ever read Wuthering Heights? It is such a nice story. I am not a classic person but I like classic books. They tell more than just a love story.

But, again, this is all my thoughts.


P/s: This one is for you.

I pour my thoughts in a blank white page
You come and make a cameo
So I write about you
In a long paragraph
From only a page
To a thousand pages book
And you never leave
Since then.

n.m


I wonder why people get married if they know they are going to hurt each other and divorce?

And I wonder why people who divorce would think of getting back together and hurt each other all over again? 

Poem #18

I need someone
who is

comfortable with
awkward silences

and doesn't mind
me not talking most
of the time

By anonymous

Tuesday, October 15, 2013

Wu Yi Fan: A Player in Courts

When I watched Kris's photos preview and fancams playing basketball on his recording to Dream Team last two days with his lovely brother, Tao, I felt the need to write about him and his passion he once had in his chest, burning to be known. As we all know, he was a captain to his basketball's team in both middle and high school, and I still wander myself to sleep thinking, this tall boy, who likes basketball so much, it is practically his whole life, what made him stop playing it?

And I remind myself that maybe there are people who do things that way. They like it so much, they stop playing it for a while. Maybe Kris is like that too. He is just stopping it for a while.

It is funny how a person can change with just a ball in his hand. In stage. Kris is Kris Wu, a character made my SM that suits the stage, but when he is in court and with his brothers, he is just Wu Yi Fan or Kevin Wu, a captain to his basketball's team and a brother to eleven others. I like both versions of this man. Every version has its own attractiveness. After all, we are talking about Kris Wu, the most attractive male human being I have ever witnessed with my own two eyes.



There is a burning passion when Kris turns into Wu Yi Fan and the ball is in his hands, he smiles more and he laughs more and he also, gets grumpy even more. The way that body moves, is like storms and lightning, fast in feet, invisible to the eyes of his opponents and quite and untraceable. His shot, is the most beautiful shot I have ever seen in my entire life and yes, it is partially because it was done by Kris, but another half is because it is truly beautiful.


Kris was appointed as the captain for the basketball team and got a sticker as a matter of approval and when he tried to stick the sticker to his number 1 jersey, he smiled his happiest smile I have ever seen. It was really nice to be able to see that smile, even through my laptop screen.

There is this time when he missed his free throws and he got so sad and he pouted his lips and hid under his jacket and Tao ruffled his hidden hair because he felt bad for his hyung because he felt bad for himself for missing those free throws. And Kris refused to eat, even when Tao tried to feed him. I think that is cute and sweet because Tao was there to comfort him and it made me feel better about leaving Kris with Tao because I know he is in good hands. Tao would always be there to take care of Kris and to comfort him, especially when Kris feels bad about himself.



I know people like Kris way too well. Kris is my kind too. He is the kind of person who feels bad about his own self all the time and feels like everything is his fault and he makes it a big deal even when it is not. He keeps quite about things inside his chest and let those unspoken words hurt him instead because he knows if he is about to speak, there are so much hearts that will be broken. People like us, aren't really good with words so we get misunderstood most of the time.

Friday, September 13, 2013

Lifeless Life I Would Live

I am lying on my bed with Lucky by EXO-M blazing in my room and to my ears straight to my heart. It has been almost a week since I last attended MTV WORLD STAGE and my post concert depression hasn't made its way out of myself. So, it stays with me while I am writing this post tonight.

This post is literally about how I feel when some people think that I am wasting my life by being a fangirl to any bands that I love. Funny, how when I talk about music as my life changing element, they will say that I am joking. EXO, they call them pretty-looking boys, but to me EXO is a group of twelve boys with passion for music and I am as their fan, look up to them as an inspiration.

If loving people and their music is a lifeless life, then I had rather lived this life for my entire life because I could never forget music. I started to appreciate music when I was around fifteen. That was when I listened to Fort Minor and Shinoda and everything was perfect to me with music. But two years ago, when EXO made their debut, I was hooked up. Like really hooked up. Who wouldn't anyway? If anyone takes a close look to EXO, they will also fall in love with EXO. They are twelve charming boys after all. Not to forget their outstanding talents in music, dance and variety skills. You will love them even more because of their talents.

The thing is, I have friends who understand me when I say "Omg guys look how he sits on the grass ain't he adorable", because some people wouldn't really understand that. Sometimes, I get way too crazy and I cry myself to sleep because...... I don't know, the reasons vague almost all the time. These friends, who understand me, somehow, stay way too far from me, from my college because they also have their own lives to live. When we are free, we will find a day off and meet each other for a few cup of coffees and catch up with everyone's life for a few hours and of course, EXO too.

Truthfully, some of them are from Twitter but since we meet up a few times, we become so close to each other. Maybe because our interest lines cross each other on sky I don't know I can't say much about that. It is funny, right? How EXO makes us one. I made a few friends from Twitter, some form my country and others are from overseas but we maintain a close friendship even across wavelength of the Internet.

 "Our story is like a beautiful fairytale."






Thursday, September 12, 2013

It Was A Night

This is going to be a picture-less post since I am writing on my experience seeing EXO with my own two eyes while I was attending MTV WORLD STAGE on 8th September 2013 which was held in Surf Beach Sunway Lagoon, Malaysia.

On d-day, I took a flight from my home town to Kuala Lumpur and it took me about 45 minutes to reach Kuala Lumpur International Airport (KLIA) and I met my friend who was waiting for me at Kelana Jaya and went straight to Sunway Pyramid, a mall close to Sunway Lagoon where the concert was going to take place. We went for lunch since we figured it would be very necessary to queue with our tummy filled. When we finished with our lunch at Texas Chicken I was very surprised to see thousand of people queuing for banners. It was from exomsia I think. And I got myself two banners, lucky I am. We settled ourselves in a sea of people queuing in two rows in front of Sunway Lagoon's entrance and my friend and I were actually almost shocked to death because of how many exostans wearing wolf tshirt were there in those two rows. That was around 11 I think. We queued for three hours and a half and then suddenly they all got up and there was pushing and pulling and I felt like I was in a sardine can and I couldn't breathe and I remember thanking god for wind because it was so hot and everyone was soaked in sweat and my clothes, well it was not so dry anymore.

Everyone was basically confused because they thought the gate was opened but everyone also knew the fact that it was going to open only at four as stated in the brochure. But since everyone had stood up, there was no way for everyone to get themselves back on the ground. And everyone was cursing and swearing and I didn't knew what to do because I was dehydrated and it didn't felt like my feet were on Earth anymore. The gate was opened around 530, an hour and a half late than what was promised to us. Drowning for air and in hot weather, everyone was furious but when the gate was opened, everyone cheered up and ran for their spot to be close to the stage. I got myself around 5 meters from the stage and they had two big screen with tweets with #mtvworldstagemy showed. And they also showed us music videos from the four line ups and when EXO's music videos of Wolf and Growl were showed, all of us screamed and sang along and it felt like we were one and it was perfect to my thinking. But after that, with a sum of six hours being under hot weather and dehydrated, my feet gave up and I had to make my way out for fresh air and decided to come back in after the third line up from four made their performance. I thought it wrong because EXO was actually the second line up to perform, different from what I was thinking before. I regretted it a bit but I didn't thought I could make it up anyway since the crowd was too many. It was a concert with EXO as one of the line ups after all. 

They started their performance with Wolf and I don't think I could forget the moment I saw them with my two eyes, especially seeing Kris and the dance I only saw on Youtube, live. We all, exostans memorized the song like a camera rolling its film and sang along to every word sang by EXO and at that moment I swear I felt infinite, just like how Charlie was with his friends. I felt like crying because I was too happy and I didn't know what to do at first. I wanted to film them with my camera, for memories, but my hands gave up as I kept on shaking and I decided I should just enjoy my time here and have all memories from that night stored in my mind as really good memories. And I silently hope that I would never forget this one. Never. After Wolf, they stopped for awhile to introduce themselves one by one. And when it came to Chen, we had prepared a birthday song for him. Just after his introduction, most exostans raised their banners and sang Chen a birthday song and he heard it and said thank you. For once in my life I thought;

"EXO has made us no boundaries. We were all came from different countries, gathered in one place because of twelve boys with passion for music and made us one, at least for that night."

Kris made his introduction and said that he really loves Malaysia and that we should make some noise so we screamed our lung out and I was so happy because he loved it here. Maybe he should come back and stay here again for a week or something.

Kris: I say X, you say O.
Kris:X
Fans:O
Kris: I say EXO EXO, you say EXO EXO.
Kris: EXO EXO
Fans: EXO EXO

They continued their next performance with History and we sang along to this one too, like it was embedded in our memory. Funny, how the language was too different from our daily language we are using and it didn't felt awkward at all to sing along to this song. I took a look around me and I saw a lot of people enjoying this song and they were all laughing and happy. After that, 365 was on and for this song, they went all the way to extended stage and danced like kids on street and I saw Kris at the other part of the stage dancing his weird dance as always and they were all running and having fun with their fans. They were smiling up to their ears. I wonder if they really like the fans here? Then Tao came to the edge of the stage and sat there and Chanyeol and Luhan came to join Tao. And they sat there together with Tao and I saw the look Luhan had on his face when he looked at Tao and it felt like he was happy that Tao was okay because he had injured his back at ISC but he was good for the stage. And Kris came and gave his sexy stare to the camera on rolling and I chuckled because he was that charming to me and it seemed that he liked all the attention he was getting at that moment.

They ended their stage with their latest song, Growl. The dance, well was a bit embarrassing but I liked it and all of other girls liked it too. The way they twisted their waist, I was literally shocked. It seemed difficult and I was proud of them for working hard to entertain us. After Growl ended, they said their last words and bowed to us and Lay was the last one to leave the stage. And he ran towards the extended stage and bowed to us again and said "Go home safely." in Chinese and I was touched because he was so considerate to his fans. He must be really concerned since it was raining that night but I had fun and it was a great concert to attend. Even with a long queue and under a hot weather but it was worth it, for that 40 minutes excitement with EXO.

I stayed a night at my friend's house and we talked about how lucky we were to have met them and saw them with our own eyes and I talked about how handsome Kris in real life and she talked about how cute and tall Chanyeol is in real life and we both slept with a smile on our face and I bet we both dreamed of EXO that night.

With this, I ended up my post with a poem titled, It Was A Night

It was night worth spent in sweat and hot weather,
It was a night of fun and screams,
It was a night where dreams came true,
It was a night in memories.




Friday, September 6, 2013

EXO MUSIC VIDEO DRAMA EPISODE 2 (KOREAN VERSION)


EXO MUSIC VIDEO DRAMA EPISODE 2 (CHINESE VERSION)


Last and Goodbye Stage of Growl by EXO

I woke up this morning after a fun sleepover with my best friends and pillow talk and unboxing gifts from their trip to Seoul and Krabi last two weeks. We went to sleep at 6 in the morning after all of our energy drained from all the talk we had last night and woke up at 12 and I was basically dreading myself from my bed to get myself a decent bath before we went out for lunch at 3 which of course not really a freaking lunch. But that was fun especially with gifts from them and the fact that my GROWL repackaged albums for both versions came in with perfect condition. Thank you EXO-MALAYSIA for their good service. You can find them on their facebook and I also bought unofficial EXO photocards from KPOP ALBUM MERCHANDISE. This one could also be found on facebook and they offer like a freaking good service and are very friendly too. So, go check out your favorite goods that could be yours soon.

When I mentioned that I was basically dreading myself out of bed, it was all because I knew that today was going to be EXO's last and goodbye stage and the fact that they were on first runner with Teen Top with Rocking made me literally sick because I love them both and breathing was giving me enough stress this evening. They were on Music Bank and after the lunch and our not so sad farewell with my best friends, I went home and waited for Music Bank to be on air. I was very nervous reading tweets from other tlists saying that Teen Top won their first winning for Rocking because the broadcast time for my country was a bit late so I could basically check it out on Twitter first to know what was going to happen next. Ain't that magic? 

Truthfully, when I knew that they were going to be on the same stage on Music Bank I was a bit disappointed as today was EXO's goodbye stage for Growl and I wanted them to win so bad, it would have been really good I thought. But, with Teen Top as their friendly opponent, I was a bit sad since I love Teen Top too. That is like choosing between air and water when you are dying on dry dessert, which is also another strange comparison I could think of at the time.

But with all honesty, I am very happy that Teen Top won their first trophy for Rocking. Should I say, it is expectable? Of course it is. We are talking about Teen Top with their high difficulty choreography here. I am not an Angel, not as much as I am an Exostan but it was nice too, to see them happy.

After the mark of EXO's last stage, they have concluded 100 days with us since Wolf was released. It was the best four months in my life I have ever lived in. There was no regrets. They have won 17 trophies; four for Wolf and thirteen for Growl and marked their triple crowns. They broke a 12 years record with their 740000 albums selling. How could I not be proud of my boys? How, after all these years, all the waiting, and the supports and tears and sweats are all paid off now?

They will be on break for at least four to five months if it is possible. But, I heard a rumor that they are going to have another comeback on October. I don't think I could agree with SM on this. They need rest. They have too much schedules to fill an entire year, too much sleepless nights that they could sleep even on chairs. It is tiring for them and it hurts us too. I believe true exostan would wait for them if it takes another year just like before.

So, I guess this is the ending to Growl era and we are back to Wait era. It is painful but I have my trust in them.

EXO, SARANGHAE

Goodbye.

Idol Star Athletic Championship: EXO

It was confirmed, perhaps yesterday if I am not mistaken that EXO will be featured as one of the groups for Idol Star Athletic Championship. They were also around for last year's event too. These are a few members who are going to be involved in this championship and events that they are going to play, which is happening today, on 3rd September 2013.

MEMBERS: Baekhyun, Suho, Kai, Sehun, Kris, Xiumin, Tao, Luhan
EVENTS: Archery, Futsal, High Jump, 100M, 200M Speedwalking, 400M Men’s Relay, 400M Mixed Relay

EXO and TASTY
EXO for Idol Start Athletic Championship

Kris on Idol Star Athletic Championship ^^
Tao on Idol Star Athletic Championship
Xiumin and Luhan on Idol Star Athletic Championship
Suho and Youngjae of B.A.P on Idol Star Athletic Championship
Luhan on Idol Star Athletic Championship


Sehun on Idol Star Athletic Championship
Baekhyun on Idol Star Athletic Championship






Monday, September 2, 2013

HunHan: Favorite OTP of Them All


As a fan of EXO specifically or KPOP generally, you can't run from shipping two members together. It is all because of how close they are to each other and it seems like there is no way they could be separated into two different ways. In EXO, I have too many otps such as krisyeol, baekyeol, kaisoo, xiuhan, suchen, sexing, taoris, but hunhan is my most favorite couple of all day. HunHan is a name made by exo's fans or also temporarily known as exostans or exotics as we have no official fan club yet. It is coming this year or next though. Sehun and Luhan, two different boys who come from two different backgrounds and races become close to each other even before their debut. Luhan is a bit on a feminine side no matter how many times he tries to convince all of his fans that he is manly. He is, sometimes. While, Sehun is the youngest among them all but despite of that, he talks informally to his hyungs or older brothers. In South Korea, it is formally known for the courtesy to seniors or someone older that they establish formal and informal Hangul, an official language of Republic of Korea. It was clearly explained in a show called Weekly Idol that Sehun oftenly shows his affection to Luhan or his hyungs through talking informally because he feels comfortable being around them. None of them seems to take his attitude as bad though. So, I think it is nothing big to make a deal since everyone is okay with it.

So, when there is a fuss that Luhan says something like "Chinese guy is for Chinese girl." today, and most of Luhan's fans are actually crying because Luhan has no interest in international marriage, I am here sobbing over the fact that Kris is also Chinese and I am not and he might not be interested in international marriage too. I just wanna say, I feel you, Luhan's fans, even though the words don't come from Wu Yi Fan's lips. But again, I think it is just a rumor and a joke Luhan pulls of or he is just trolling us, cause clearly Sehun is not Chinese and certainly not a girl. Given all pictures below, you can judge it all the way you want. Here I will tag along some pictures and a video of HUNHAN together. It is either on stage, airports, or on variety shows, they are certainly cannot be separated. Thus, it makes me quite sad that after Growl's promotion comes to an end, which is not so far from now, HunHan will be put on semi-hiatus for awhile. Fans of EXO who ship this couple are going to miss their interaction the most.

 

Sehun back-hugging Luhan and Luhan holding Sehun's hand in return.

Luhan and Sehun at a football match of South Korea and Peru (if I am not mistaken)

Luhan and Sehun at one of their Wolf's stage performances.

Sehun and Luhan locking hands at SMTOWN LIVE WORLD TOUR ^^

My Journey To Knowing EXO


This must be my first time here talking about EXO in general and not in secrecy as I have in my poems and hidden words. When I first created this blog, it was dedicated for KPOP but I guess time was never a good friend to me as I was well occupied with homework and school and best friends. Almost a few months ago, I deleted all of my existing posts that I had gradually posted under this blog which was formerly known as niasm.blogspot. I thought I needed a change of environment as I have been reading a lot of poetic and classic books after I graduated from high school. I have always been a book worm since high school but with so much work as a student, books were just a company and never a lover to me until a few years back when I have enough time to spend on reading book and finishing it in a few days. So, I thought of using this new blog to post my own poem under n.m as my initial and a few of my admired poems from my favorites poets. As far I remember, I have created almost 17 lousy poems under n.m and they were from various genres if I can put it in that way.

Back to the previous topic where I begin my post with the introduction of EXO, I bet most of my readers if there is any; are not so familiar with EXO, as a lot of my friends too. So, don't worry because you are not alone. Two years ago when I was basically frustrated and depressed with my college life, I was thinking of finding something fun for my life even though we all quite know how boring my life can be even if it is accompanied by the funniest stuff ever. I think there is no way to change that. How poor. I was a KPOP lover for almost five years now. A friend of mine introduced me to Super Junior and I remember me falling head over heals with Kyuhyun. He was very charming despite being a new member and the youngest of all.


But then, he leaded me to Kibum, the second youngest from 13 members. He was this quite and good looking, and he was pointed as the visual for the group. Seeing all that in him, I couldn't help but falling harder for him especially with his mysterious personality. He didn't talk much as I could recall from my memories. Usually, in interviews, he stood behind his brothers and listened to their talk and never said a word unless it was requested by the interviewer.


Liking Super Junior in general and Kibum and Kyuhyun specifically, was a really good memory to me. They gave me an insight of what KPOP is all about, even it if is only on the surface and not as a whole big picture. I laughed and cried with them, with their wittiness and fondness towards each other. How after five years, everything has changed and they are no longer a 13-members group. Gradually, too much problems came up and people who stay are still there but a few of them has subsided into their own ways. Kibum, for example, despite being quite and mysterious is becoming a great actor on his own. With all rumors saying he is no longer a member of Super Junior, I still believe he belongs to one of them until today.

Through Super Junior, I got to know 2PM and 2AM but I have to admit that I was more into 2PM than 2AM, mostly because they reminded me of Super Junior's wittiness and fondness. A seven member group was introduced by JYP Entertainment, one of the big three along side SM Entertainment which Super Junior belongs to and YG Entertainment. Park Jaebum was my ultimate bias from this group and they were funny and talented. They were introduced as 'Beastly Idols' and acrobatic dance styles became one of the main focus in their choreography. They came up like a storm as they stroke a million hearts from various ages in a very short time. Two years premier to their debut, a controversy swiped away Park Jaebum, the former leader of 2PM from his spot in the group. Personally, I thought the controversy was ridiculous to begin with. If you google it you should know what I am talking about. But who cares, Park Jaebum makes his return in KPOP on his own as Jay Park and becomes successful under a new company called Siduq HQ where he can compose his own song and dance and is not tied to company's genre of music at all. So, cheer up.





So, since that moment, I believed in nothing KPOP music industry has to offer me. I listened to a few KPOP songs but that was all. I have been focusing more on kdrama and kvariety like Running Man which I believe is known to a lot of people here in my country. But then, EXO happened and I am still not sure if their existence in my life is needed or not for the time being.

This is a very long post and I am sorry but after a very long introduction, I am about to have a real talk about EXO.^^

And again, I want to highlight that EXO HAPPENED to me two years ago. Truthfully, I did checked out on KPOP once or twice a month when I was in my frustrating years over the withdrawal of Jay Park from 2PM but there was this one time when I was on Youtube and a video was uploaded on my what to watch or timeline or whatever it was called, and it was a video of SM's new trainees so I kinda got interested who was the new ones and I clicked on the link and there were these two guys crossing the street; one in a denim jacket and pants and the other one who I thought was a kid and apparently he was until recently though. I came to conclusion that it was such a weird video but then I got curious to know who was the one in the denim jacket cause he looked so attractive and mysterious and quite but he also had this looked that he would take care of everything so just calm down. Like leadership or the likes. They were both rumored to be in a new group debuting under SM Entertainment but then that was it. I got busy with my college as I was in my final year of foundation study and I needed to get good result and thank God, I passed. In that time, their teasers came out and there was rumor saying that they were going to have two subgroups of EXO namely EXO-K and EXO-M, each with six members, where they both actually belong to one group but the only different was that they were going to promote in two different languages and regions; Mandarin and Korean, China and South Korea. EXO-K is composed of all six Korean members but EXO-M has four Chinese members in the group and two Koreans. I thought that was a very surprising new strategy brought by teacher Lee Soo Man.  I wondered myself if this new strategy was going to work and obviously it did and I worried for nothing. When I saw all of 23 teasers, I was most attracted to Tao's teaser when he did his martial arts; wushu and it was very strange to my thinking for a young man who practices martial arts in his life to debut as a singer and dancer but I was wrong about him, of course. Teacher Lee Soo Man would never have brought someone with one talent into his company and again I was worried for dust.

Both subgroups released their two prologue singles alongside its music videos in two months time, titled What is Love and History and both are available in Chinese and Korean. When I watched Chinese version of What is Love, it took me, exaggeratedly, a thousand years to finally recognized the guy who was in denim jacket in the previous mentioned video was in it too. So, when their debut song, MAMA came out, they were introduced with a concept as people or aliens that came from exoplanet, a planet outside our solar system and they have superpowers and this guy which I got to know was named Kris as his stage name, was said to have the ability to fly.




I always think it is such a nice ability to be able to fly. There was a time when I wished to be a bird in my next life, that was when I was not mentally stable to be very honest. I started to find more information on Kris and it was said in his profile that he did not went under the knife for any parts of his face so he was naturally natural and I compared his before-debut pictures with recent ones and to my shock, he looks the same. I thought that was just a company statement on their artists' profiles. Kris also likes to read books, especially inspirational ones, which surprisingly same to me. He likes to draw and he convinces himself that he is the next Picasso when everyone, until now, still has no ways to convince him back that he is just a delusional Kris. I like to draw too, except maybe I draw better paintings than Kris. Sometimes, in spite being a leader to EXO-M, he doesn't really talk much. He usually does what it takes, introduction for example, and the next thing we all know, he stays behind his members and let them do all the talking. So, that was how I become interested in EXO and all of its small details. I heard nothing of them for almost a year or so, especially in addition to my busy college life.




But, this year around May, when SME decided to have a comeback for EXO after a freaking one year, I was more than just happy and enthusiastic that I got to see them again. They decided not to make a split promotion like the one they did with MAMA, instead they do the promotion together, mainly situated in South Korea with all twelve members, t o g e t h e r. I felt bad at first since we have Chinese members in the group and they were not going to be home for let us say five to six months. Given the time to me, I say, it is a very long period to refrain yourself from your family and parents. The subgroups collaborated for the album's, XOXO lead single, Wolf but the rest of the album was recorded separately given EXO-K and EXO-M. Both albums were then released with a Korean Kiss and Chinese Hug versions. Their songs topped in almost all charts after its release in South Korea and mainland China.





After just a month, SME decided to have another comeback of EXO and of course as a fan of them, I would be happy to spend my money again on them. That is of course a sarcastic comment. They made a comeback with Repackaged Album of XOXO with a song titled Growl (what a weird song title to choose). They are said to be charts killer nowadays especially with their 11th win for Growl yesterday and their first Triple Crown, they proove to be more than just a rookie group. But again, it would be really weird to listen to other rookie groups or their juniors calling them seniors.





Truthfully, I have spent almost RM400 alone on Growl and more to come especially with SM POP STORE's opening in Seoul last few months and Boy Who Cried Wolf (BWCW) STORE's opening last month. I would say, they are my money sucker, strongly supported with the fact that I am going to MTV WORLD STAGE this coming Sunday to actually see them in real life. Can you feel my excitement? And I am also planning to go to South Korea this year or next year with God's will to visit their stores and might bump into them for real. That is another thing to be excited about, don't you think?

It is almost their time to say good bye and it is decided by SME that both subgroups are going to have a split promotion again and I am dreading and I am both sad and happy that the Chinese are going back to their home land after a very long time even though they did went back for interviews and variety shows' appearances and that they are going for separate ways again. I hope this only lasts for a while since I want to see them together again especially my otps. They, being together are going to be missed.

I guess that is all for EXO from me. I am sorry that I have Super Junior and 2PM hidden among EXO's topics but it is my journey to knwoing EXO after all.

(n.m)


Sunday, September 1, 2013

Poem #17

I remember,
Wrapping myself in  a warm blanket,
On a cold starry midnight,
Asking myself,
If by any chances,
You are missing me too.

I linger on that thought,
For an hour,
And I convince myself,
That it is just a dream,
Because I am afraid,
Of believing the opposite.

A cup of coffee stays by my side,
Being a company to a lonely writer,
Night like this,
I often think of you,
Of how your existence,
Brings too much happiness in my life.

(n.m)


Poem #16

Your fall to Earth,
Unknowingly,
Is a bless to me.

Does it hurt?
To be that beautiful,
And soulless.

Someday,
I hope I'll walk by your side,
Giving my whispers of hope.

One day,
You will listen to my whispers,
And you will spread them across the world.

I will whisper,
I am sick and I need your help,
Help.

You will whisper back,
I am here,
Don't worry.

(n.m)

Poem #15

When I see you,
My heart flutters,
Is it possible?
Perhaps it is.

I say to my friends,
If angel exist,
You'd be the one with hidden wings,
Am I not right?

When I see you,
There is sadness flaunting from your eyes,
Are you okay?
I wanna ask but I am afraid of the answers.

I say to my friends,
If he is sad,
I feel so wronged,
Because I can do nothing.

When I see you,
Remember,
There is a tight hug awaits,
For you from me.

I say to my friends,
Maybe after all I am not so wronged,
Because I remember,
There is a tight hug I can give.

(n.m)

p/s: This is a poem I made thinking of Kris, also known as Kevin Wu or Wu Yi Fan from EXO.

Poem #14

Often times,
When I am lying on my bed at 3.03am,
There is virtual tears flowing from my eyes,
Am I sad?
I don't know,
But what I know is I question myself too often,
Of such a wreck have I became,
I ask myself again,
Whose fault is this?
That I am becoming bad?
No answer comes up,
I guess it is mine,
One has no right to put the blame on others,
Other than herself,
I say.

(n.m)

Tuesday, July 2, 2013

L O V E



Sometimes, life is all about watching kids loving each other with purity in their hearts to produce the purest love. It takes only awhile to prove that love still exists in this whole universe in spite of criminals are still around and crimes are still unsolved.

Today, I watch how love got broken and how love fell back together. Even if it doesn't fit back to its piece of puzzle but it tries to fit better than the previous heartbreak. It may not be the same but at least the scar should be left with tiny black hole in our heart; as a reminder to us. A reminder to warn us that this could happen again in future. A reminder for us to be aware of a series of future heartbreaks.




Friday, June 28, 2013

Music

Sometimes
When life gives you so much hardship
That you think there is no way
For you to hold onto yourself anymore
Please
Take music to your soul
Listen to every tune
Let it calm you waving heart

Tuesday, June 11, 2013

Poem #13

The world is wrong,
That is the obvious,
But who I am to tell  the world,
That he is wrong,
Because the world is big,
And I am so little.

Poem #12

That's all you need from someone, sometimes,
The belief that they will love us forever,
For whoever we are,
For all our past,
For all we are becoming.

Poem #11

Sometimes,
I close my eyes,
And an image of my mother appears from the darkness,
I want to hug her but she's too far away,
She's standing there,
With tears in her eyes,
She smiles her best smile,
To me her only daughter,
A smile that will surely comfort me,
And here I am,
Incapable of doing anything,
To comfort her,
My mother.

Sometimes,
I close my eyes,
And an image of my father appears from a pitch black darkness,
I reach my hands but he's too far away,
I want to touch him and strike his back,
And tell him I love him,
Because he is my father,
The best father to me,
His daughter,
The one he put on his shoulder,
And spun me around,
The one he bought white dresses on every birthday,
And here I am,
Incapable of thanking him enough,
For all the love he has given to me for all this while.


Sunday, April 7, 2013

Poem #10

Everyone will come
And everyone will leave
And we are hurt
With so many hidden scars

Saturday, April 6, 2013

Poem #9

I see leaves waving at me
How nice for them to wave at me
They must know my secret
Because they are trying to make me feel better

Poem #8

Some people are too happy
Some people are too sad
I feel nothing

Saturday, March 30, 2013

Photo of the Moment #4


Photo of the Moment #3


Poem #7

There is so much pain
There is so much tears

There is so little time
There is so little life

----------------------------

In this whole universe
My existence
Is just a tiny little dot
I don't think
I'll be noticed
But if you do
I promise I'll care
With every piece
Of my broken heart
For every piece
Of your broken heart

Poem #6

2.43 am is for people like me
Who sit on bed and alone
And tears stream down their faces
Because of a sudden nightmare

2.43 am is for hearts
That hurt too much
But can't be revealed until
Night and morning intertwined

Poem #5

I feel like there is a hole inside of me
It's not something but anything
Is missing out from me

I feel like I was left behind
By the world that keeps on moving
And people whose hearts weren't for me


Photo of the Moment #2



Photo of the Moment #1


"Solace"

Poem #4

The weather is burning hot
But I like the sun
If only I can be as beautiful as it is
And kind as its heart

Poem #3

My rage
I have a war in my mind
There is so much thoughts
Left unsaid and unrevealed

Friday, March 29, 2013

Poem #2

With every touch comes love
I long for that touch
A touch that makes me spread my wings
And fly across the sky